Will it send you into a spiral and start doubting every life path you’ve chosen so far? Absolutely yes. But I think it’s time to spice things up a bit for you, after all, you’re the one reading this blog.

Introduction:

The link between entering your mid-twenties and moving to a new city is something to be studied. Thanks to TikTok and Instagram, everyone is convinced that moving to the other side of the world will fix their mental health issues. 

Whilst this isn’t strictly true, there is a lot to be said about developing yourself as a person choosing to move to a new place. But if you think you’re going to instantly start running along Bondi Beach the second you land, then this is to warn you that it doesn’t always work out this way. 

Before I scare you off, this post isn’t to make you question your life decisions or your plane tickets –  If anything,  it’s the opposite.

Just want to inform you that moving to a new city in your 20s, 30s, 40s or any bloody age is one of the hardest yet rewarding things you’ll do in your life. I’ve lived in Melbourne for 6 months now, and I thought I would share some of my humbling experiences with you. Hopefully, some of you can relate, or maybe everything instantly worked out for you and you can laugh in my face? Then, either way, reading this post will have given you some sort of joy, no worries x 

Harsh truths.

The first thing I’ll mention is finding a job. Man. 

Finding a job wasn’t even a concern of mine when I was coming over here, I used to manage a restaurant in England so I thought hey no problem I’ll just pick up a really chill cafe job where everyone is super friendly.  Maybe it’s different if you’re serving coffee to a 5am run club on the Gold Coast, but in Melbourne/ Sydney you’re fighting with every other quarter/mid-life crisis working holiday maker just to pour a schooner.

So, congratulations. If you’re size 4, under the age of 23 and have somehow managed to move to a new country and buy a whole new wardrobe, you’ll probably get a job really easily. But if you don’t quite fit in this category, or maybe you do and you’re still struggling, then I can tell you you’re not the only one. 

HIRE ME PLEASE

Okay, so I hope I haven’t scared you off. Here is some actual advice and platforms to use to help you get a job in your new city:

SUPP – The only toxic relationship I’ve had since moving to Melbourne has been with this bloody app, but honestly, it saved my ass when I just signed on to a year lease for a house with zero dollars in my CommBank.  This app operates in most Aussie cities, and NY and LA too. 

All you need to do is make your profile, and then constantly check your phone for 24 hours a day in the hope of a shift – easy rite? Yeah, it can be a bit mentally taxing, but maybe you spent all your money on brunches on the East Coast, or you took a sabbatical for 2 months then decided to never go home, but cash is cash and there is no better feeling getting those dollars in your account., even if you did have to work in a club until 6am. Doing casual work in a new city is the best way to be offered a job, as long as you’re not a complete fool, they will often give you more shifts, and if they don’t, then I suggest maybe trying something else…

Casual work can be daunting, not knowing what you’re doing, or someone asks for a Long Black or a Wet Pussy (shot) and you’re thinking what on Earth??? You’ll soon enough meet a lot of other gals and guys in the same position as you, and realise you’re not on your own trying to navigate your new life in your new city, and maybe even make some friends at your job? Or enemies…;)

Some other ways to find casual jobs are Facebook groups such as ‘Melbourne Hospitality’ etc. For longer-term employment hassle all of the recruitment agencies for help, try Linkedin, or you can always do what I did and pick up the phone and pretty much beg for an interview from a SEEK ad; like I said, humbling. 

My main concern was finding somewhere to live. Maybe you’re an expert extrovert and love living in hostels listening to people snoring and having very average sex, but everyone loves their quiet time, right? 

Finding accommodation in a new city is difficult, even if you come over here with a pal or a partner. Here are some tips:

Fairy Floss/ Irish Around/ Facebook Groups – I thought using Facebook was a bit 2010, but there are so many Facebook pages for accommodation, although, make sure you actually go and view the house before sending someone a $600 bond. I hope that goes without saying but you never know. Working out whether you’re getting bang for your buck is another thing to consider. Yes, your flat might overlook Bondi Beach like you’ve always dreamed, but can you really afford it if you’re working 20 hours a week and spending all your money on brunch? 

Flat Mates – This is actually how I secured my accommodation very quickly, by pure luck and maybe a little bit of manifestation. You can message people who have put rooms up, or just have your profile on there so people can message you. Some bloke from Ireland sent me a message late at night that I nearly ignored, and I couldn’t imagine how different my life would be if I hadn’t responded to that message. It’s a scary thought, but I hope it excites you x 

REALLY F**KING HARD

Okay so I hope that’s your main concern covered, as long as you are able to source an income and have a roof over your head, then you’re doing amazing sweetie. 

I hope by now you realise that moving to a new city is really F**king hard, and the influencers telling you that it will fix your issues are WRONG. Well… not entirely.

FRIENDS???

When was the last time you made a friend? Like an actual FRIEND? Maybe it’s the trauma bond, or maybe it’s the universe, we’ll never know, but all of a sudden you move to a new city and your best friend is a gay man from a small town in Germany (1000X better than a toxic Fitzroy Naarm Core boy, in my experience anyway). 

It’s so typical but if you take risks and put yourself out there, you don’t know who you’ll meet. Say yes to going for a beer with the girl who said she liked your hair in the hostel, don’t be afraid to ask people if they want to go to a gig with you, or if someone asks you to hang out and do something outside of your comfort zone, if you fancy it, just go for it. 

You don’t have to say yes to everything, and honestly, if you’re exhausted and just want to stay in and watch a series then absolutely do that. It’s really important to enjoy your own company, whether you’re moving to a new place or not, but you can be introverted and still value human connection. It’s important and we all need it, and you never know who’s waiting for you in your new city. 

”SELF DEVELOPMENT”

Okay, so I’m sitting here writing this listening to Mazzy Star, pretending I’m going through some sort of heartbreak when really, I haven’t held someone’s hand in years.  Melbourne winter is approaching, I haven’t bought a dressing gown yet and all my closest friends are back in England enjoying that first pint of the year in the sun. So let’s try to remind myself of why the fuck I moved over here in the first place. 

Maybe you’re from a stagnant small town like me, where the only thing that’s changed there in the past 50 years has been the price of a drink in your local pub (get this girl a drink). Or you could be already from an ever-evolving city but all your mates you used to go to the rave with are thinking about their second baby.  If you’re reading this, this is probably your sign it’s time for things to change. 

Moving to a new city is a means of self-development. I’m not speaking about waking up at 6am, going to Pilates and eating overnight oats improvement, although if you do this I have mad respect for you, I work from home and don’t often get out of my trackies until midday (at the earliest).

Self-development – the process of consciously improving your skills, abilities, and overall quality of life through activities that enhance your self-awareness, talents, and potential. – Cheers AI.

Moving to a place, where no one knows you;  except maybe one other person if you’re lucky enough that your best mate is also going through a crisis. You are actually discovering who you really are. Will it send you into a spiral and start doubting every life path you’ve chosen so far? Absolutely yes. But I think it’s time to spice things up a bit for you, after all, you’re the one reading this blog.

FREE WILL

Self-development is also about learning that you have free will and can be whoever you want to be. Not free will in the sense that you can just act like an absolute c**t, please don’t do that, there are already enough of those. Free will in the sense that you’re 34 and want to do your first ski season? Do it. You’re in your 40’s and you want to re-train to be a hairdresser like you’ve always wanted? You’ll only regret it if you don’t. You’re 25 and your first love who you thought was ‘the one’ was seen on Tinder whilst you were living together? Time to move to a new city and get hot as FUCK (hotter than you are already). 

On a real note, you’re so far away from your family and friends, who you’ve always been a specific person for, or acted a certain way. Now you’re on your own, no one knows you, you can literally do anything you like. Self-development is making a conscious effort to focus on yourself, in all of the little ways, be a little adventurous, wear the outfits that you thought were a bit ‘too much’ to wear at home, go out and listen to some hard Techno, or go to a classical music concert. Fuck it, maybe it’s finally time to go to therapy and start a blog 😉  

If you’re interested, I’ve now changed my music to Disclosure’s Boiler Room Set – Ya welcome. 

As much as I’m encouraging you to do all of these things, remember that they do come in time, you don’t just transform into a new human overnight, and you shouldn’t want to do that either because I’m sure you’re already pretty epic as it is. There is no rush, just slow down and be present in what’s happening in the little changes around you, try to express gratitude in your new little life…breathe.

You’re either doing one of two things right now:

1. Rapidly Googling what Visa requirements you have and trawling Skyscanner for the cheapest flights out of here.
2. Thinking to yourself: wow this mysterious woman is so wise and obviously sexy.

Thanks. As you may have guessed, I’m just a girl trying to run away from her trauma like the rest of you.

Everything I’ve written in this blog is based on my experiences so far, Chapter 1. The reason that I feel confident to write about all of this is not that I’ve read a load of self-help books and done a load of research, it’s from being forced to make a new life for myself and speaking to other people who are doing the same. You have no idea what opportunity an interaction is going to bring you, so be brave and get out there and chat some shit. 

I’m sure it will work for you x